


Unsaid

by FutureAlien



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Cheesy, Emotionally Constipated Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Established Relationship, M/M, Sappy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, Yes again, You Have Been Warned, this is kinda dumb but its my birthday so i get to choose whatever sappy shit i want to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25739011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FutureAlien/pseuds/FutureAlien
Summary: “I am horrible at this! Words, feelings…” Arthur scrunched up his nose. “I just can’t seem to express myself. And that was all fine and dandy when I just had to fight bandits and hope you’d be impressed but now that we’re together it’s just- it’s unbearable!”
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 190





	Unsaid

Arthur had been grumpy. Merlin had suspected something was off for a while now, going by the King’s snappish tone and lack of insults, but he couldn’t for the life of him find out what was the matter. After all, there had been quite a lull in the usual scramble of curses, attacks and extorting nobles. They had slowly started implementing some laws about magic, and so far the general populace seemed quite content with the proceedings. Merlin and Arthur had even, after years of dancing around each other, admitted that the pull between them could not be explained by friendship or destiny alone. 

All in all, Arthur had absolutely no reason to be grumpy. Merlin spent most of his days feeling like he was floating on a fluffy pink cloud, only to be rudely brought back to earth by Arthur’s frown. 

After one particularly strained evening, Merlin could take it no more. He watched Arthur worry his lip, hunched over a piece of parchment while the candle by his side struggled to stay aflame. 

“There is something bothering you,” Merlin declared. When he saw Arthur open his mouth to dispute, he simply raised his hand to silence him. “There’s no use denying! You know I will just bother you until you confess.”

He tried to keep a light note to his voice, but it was hard to ignore the little sliver of doubt in the back of his mind.

“Is it about the magic?” he asked, when Arthur didn’t venture with a reason. He hated having to ask it, but he had to be sure.

“Of course not!” Arthur said quickly, almost spilling his ink in his haste to stand up. He made his way across the room to where Merlin was standing, taking his hands in his own. 

“And before you ask, it’s not about you either,” he added. Then, as if considering something, he frowned a little, forming a crease between his eyebrows that had no business being as adorable as it was. “Actually, it is a little bit about you,” he rectified.

Merlin must have made a face, because Arthur’s eyes grew big. “It’s nothing bad!” he hastened to say, squeezing Merlin’s hands in his. 

“It’s just… it’s exactly this, actually,” he said sheepishly. He let go of one of Merlin’s hands to motion at himself, at his own heart and face. 

“Every time you help me with my speeches, it just shows how much better with words you are than me. And I never used to mind about that as long as I could beat your skinny arse in a sword game.” Arthur smiled at Merlin’s affronted face, going on before Merlin could point out that he was plenty good at not getting his arse kicked even without a sword, thank you very much.

“But now that we’re… what we are,” he continued, this time waving at the little space between their chests, “it’s just starting to frustrate me.”

“You’re frustrated… because you can’t kick my arse anymore?” Merlin asked sceptically.

“No! Of course not!” Arthur let out an annoyed huff. “See, this is what I mean!” His other hand now also left Merlin’s in order to card through messy blond locks. Merlin was tempted to take Arthur’s hand back, missing its warmth, but it looked like Arthur was a bit too agitated to be constrained.

“I am horrible at this! Words, feelings…” he scrunched up his nose. “I just can’t seem to express myself. And that was all fine and dandy when I just had to fight bandits and hope you’d be impressed but now that we’re together it’s just- it’s unbearable!”

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh at his beloved’s obvious distress. A relieved giggle bubbled up in his throat as he watched Arthur rub his hands over his face.

“Is this what got you so cross these past days?” Merlin asked. “Don’t you think that your actions speak for themselves?” He ruffled Arthur’s hair, giving him a smile that was only minimally mocking. “You’re really quite silly sometimes, aren’t you? You’ve shown me that you care for me plenty of times, and there’s no hurry to figure out how to say the rest.”

But instead of smiling back, Arthur merely shook his head. “Stop doing that,” he rumbled. “Stop acting like this is a joke. It’s not to me.”

Merlin was taken aback by the seriousness in the king’s face.

“I have all this - this giant _love_ for you that I cannot express,” Arthur complained. “I will never be able to tell you what I feel for you, how deep into my very soul this runs, and every time I try it just turns into nonsense or insults or clichés. And when I hug you and try to get you to understand without words, it doesn’t work either. I can never hold you close enough for us to melt together, even if I desperately want to, and that is not funny. It’s horribly, terribly frustrating.”

Suddenly, Merlin understood what Arthur meant, because no matter his way with words, the soaring in his chest left him speechless. And when he pressed his lips to Arthur in an attempt to make that known, he cursed the borders of their bodies for still keeping them apart.

Still, some kind of understanding must have passed between them, for Arthur stopped moping around after that. When he wasn’t being ordered around, or asked for advice, or kissed to within an inch of his life, Merlin retreated to his own room, Arthur’s words always in the back of his mind.

It took him three months to perfect the potion, a present for the man who was his destiny in every way.

Arthur sniffed at the vial, casting a suspicious glance at the purple liquid. 

“Are you certain I won’t grow an extra head?”

Merlin merely smiled. With only a moment’s hesitation, the king looked into his eyes and downed the whole drink. 

It took a moment to take effect, during which time Merlin procured his own dose, swallowing it in one go. 

“Will you finally tell me what this is supposed to do?” Arthur whined. Right then, a soft glow started to emanate from the king’s chest, a golden light heavy with gratitude and love. Arthur’s eyes grew wide.

“It’s not words,” Merlin explained nervously, a rosy light seeping from his own heart, “but it’s an expression all the same. It’s magic showing me how you feel about me.” He laughed at the tickling sensation of all his love for Arthur expanding into the air between them. “And how I feel about you.”

The smile on Arthur’s face might have been more brilliant than anything Merlin’s magic could produce. And at that moment, Merlin realised that all his hard work would never be successful. Even the flow of colours, shapes and smells could never capture his feelings for Arthur, could never truly express the infinite ways in which their lives were bound.

Not that he cared, basking as he was in this shred of Arthur’s love for him, knowing that they would carry this frustration together. And who knew? Maybe some things were even better when left unsaid.

~ The End ~

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by an actual conversation I had with a friend, who was gushing about how much he loves his gf and how frustrating it is that he can never properly express that to her <3 I thought that was one of the sweetest things I ever heard. I also really know how he feels - telling people how much they mean to you is so hard! I really wish I had Merlin's potion so I could show everyone in my life how loved they are. And if I had that potion, all of you would be doused with shiny little hearts and stars and rainbows, because being in this fandom has brought so much happiness into my life and I'm grateful to every one of you for being so kind. Thank you so much for reading this, and please let me know what you think because your comments make my day every single time <3 Have a lovely night!


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